My Thoughts, My World.

i know most of you are bored out from reading my blog. it's okay, you can skip me and move on to others. i don't mind at all.

i'm already on the verge of giving up. i'm sick of myself. i hate myself.
from the starting, i've been telling myself this and that but it seems like nothing at all. the words coming out from my mouth aren't even happening.
i've been gaybo-ing for the past trainings. yet till now, i don't see any improvements in me at all. NOT at all. from stability to strokes, i still suck. i'm rowing like a noob, not even completing 15 rounds after so long and i'm still capsizing. coach has been reminding me thousand of times to correct my strokes but nothing gets into me. i did try but it still doesn't changes. everyone is already catching up and improving fast but i'm still lagging behind by alot. adding on, i'm turning senior in a month time. i can't afford to lose out to the juniors. i really can't. i really hate this feeling. K2 with patner how? what to do? still... if i don't help myself, no one can.
i feel like locking myself up in the room for days. i feel so helpless now..)):

i'm sorry anyway. for this emo post.